I started to write this on 17th Jan so it now comes in two parts:
So, last Thursday my dog and I were hit by a car. I am bruised and stiff but he is seriously hurt. He won’t die but he is going to be handicapped for the rest of his life and only time will tell how badly. In a very real sense, this is entirely my fault. I was in the middle of another crisis which, whilst clearly important and with all due respect to the others involved, currently seems less important and urgent than it did last Thursday. I let myself get overtired and stressed and made some very bad decisions which culminated in the accident. We’ve all heard the saying, “We make our own luck” and we tend to put a positive spin on this though perhaps we should occasionally remember in advance that we also make our own accidents. Naturally I spent several days beating myself up for this and reminding myself that as an NLP practitioner I, of all people should really have known better but then it occurred to me that, as an NLP practitioner, I really should know better. So I’m not beating myself up any more. I am only human and humans sometimes do really really stupid things. In retrospect, given how stupid I was, we have all been very lucky; Mac will not die and can learn to live with no sight, though there is some hope that some sort of vision may return in time, my other dog was completely unhurt and I will mend quickly. It could have been so much worse. So, I am taking care of myself and Mac and using all my existing skills to help him adjust whilst learning tonnes from him, which will hopefully make me a better behaviourist and benefit others in the future. Lessons I may someday learn – nothing is worth your life or your health; understanding what happened is invaluable but dwelling on it is counter-productive; in life the only way is forward – standing still is no more an option than going back, no matter how much we may wish to do either sometimes.
Well, there’s been a bit of a gap there. Turns out I had a lot farther down to go before up was possible. Despite everything I tried to push my own troubles to one side again in order to help bring something else to a close but it was too much and too soon so – crash. Sometimes it is necessary to spend several weeks in bed watching back to back episodes of popular tv on iTunes. More things have gone wrong including someone using my situation to make themselves some easy money but I’m now back in a place where I can separate out all the troubles, assess what I can do something about and what I should do something about and move on so here goes, with enormous thanks to everyone who’s been fantastically supporting – you know who you are and you are appreciated even when I’m not always up to saying it. Apologies to anyone who may have felt ignored but I promise there’s nothing personal and hopefully increased health and a focus on living rather than existing will bring more fun for all in the near future
Here’s to new plans and getting away from negativity then…